Friday, March 19, 2010

"I Gotta Take This"

There is a mistake that I have made too many times and not even realized I have done it. I am sure I have made people feel uneasy and unimportant & it is not something I plan to do in the future.

"I gotta take this" or "1 sec while I text this guy back" while in the middle of a meeting or a conversation tells the person I am with that someone or something is more important than they are. I've always known this but there are certain situations where either I have done this or it has been done to me recently that have flared my passion in this arena.

I know it is easy to explain away. "People don't mind," "It's my wife," "It's work." All things that can wait, important things that can wait. Ultimately we have put ourselves on pedestals by being "available" to everyone but the person we are with.

A friend once told me, "When you are here, be here," and I loved this advice - then later the same friend answered 2 phone calls in a 10 minute conversation with me. I have done this too many times, sometimes to get out of a talk I didn't want to be in or sometimes because I need to feel important in front of . . . well anyone.

Am I really that important that I can't call someone back, or text them in a few minutes? Are you that important?

That was rhetorical, I'm not.

Get down pride & glory - you don't live here anymore.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Paper Glasses & Passion

Sitting in a small plastic chair, overwhelmed with anticipation in a room with more windows than walls is where I had placed myself. Outside was a world of dimension that I partook of constantly but had rarely been this thrilled over.

I was staring at a small rounded red box with two magic metal rods, bent just the right way to achieve perfect clarity. The colorless screen screamed at me through my red and blue paper glasses with its promise of 3-D . . . and so I waited . . . for King Kong!

The hope that it would come alive, the only real reason I was sitting there instead experiencing the reality on the other side of the glass panes, grabbed me & held me tight. So happy, ecstatic almost as it comes on & I wait, patiently for the first arm or rock or whatever that will make me feel as if I needed to move.

I waited for 2 hours for that glimpse of something more than flat. And at the end, as The Kong fell to his, & what turned out to be my death there was no 3-D. Incredibly disappointed, I dropped my glasses.

The pain that comes from exuberance followed by not even being given the chance to experience it is beyond real. Passion without expression & instruction is far too devastating.

What I learned is simple: Reality isn't real in black and white.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Good Morning Tuesday

I'm sitting here in my chair this morning, finishing a warm cup of sweet & creamy coffee from my "'Essentials' for your offroad adventure" mug listening to the world wake up. More & more cars drive by mixed with the rumble of 18 wheelers delivering the goods that we all so desperately need.

The sun glumly reflects off of the thick vapors in the sky revealing an endless array of deep blue corn rows of clouds. I wonder what clever analogy or story I would derive from this if I was a pastor. I guess I'll just take it in.

The aroma of moisture hints in the air. My mind wanders, as it often does, this time to the smell of a heated indoor pool at the Y or a cheap hotel. I know it's strange, but I am thankful that rain doesn't need to be cleansed with chlorine.

I am excited about this evening's dinner with good friends, dropping elbows with my boy, and talking with my wife.

The day holds whatever I want it to hold, whatever God decides to send my way. I wonder if I will be open if it's difficult, or closed if it's too simple. What will He change my mind about today, if I'm open, and how will He be glorified through me today.

Good morning Tuesday, let's get it on.