Heartfelt

There was a recent weekend that was draining in all kinds of ways.  Certainly physically - 22 hours of driving in 49 hours, 8 hours of sleep in 60 hours.  Mentally - while driving I was usually thinking, this gets me in trouble quite often though!  Spiritually - I was a part of something the Holy Spirit had been brewing for 32 years, pushing over the past 2 years, and culminating with this incredible weekend.  It was beautiful in so many ways.

All that too say, I messed up, and none of that is an excuse.

There was someone who needed me and while physically I was there, mentally I was only half there and; spiritually I was gone . . . far away in the dreamland the rest of my being should have been in.  My wife needed a gentle touch, soft encouraging words, and servant leadership.  The ball that is so often spoke of . . . I dropped it.

Here's the thing, I was thinking about that today - That is not how Christ loved the church.  I tuned out because of fatigue, He was more focused on me while beyond exhaustion, I'm not sure that it evens describes the point He must have been at - and then He was taken, beaten, nailed, and died.

This how He loved the church, how He loves me.

There is no excuse for me, I am here to love her and serve her perfectly because that is my example.  I obviously won't always but my repentance to her and Christ draw me closer to both, and that brings Him glory.

Men, there is nothing about this that is about us, simply nothing.  Honestly, it sorta sucks but the minute I think of myself first, in whatever minuscule means, above Kristy, Christ, and His Word I become an idolater.  The ultimate truth is as men we are highest on the totem pole as leaders and lowest as our desires go.  I believe that women thrive when they are led well, and I let that ball roll on the crooked floor of my home.

So this is my public, heartfelt apology to my wife and God and my call to men to fight for this because it is not easy but it should be normal for those of us who claim to follow Christ, through His strength and power.

Make the extraordinary seem normal.

~Ordinary Warrior~